Why is it bothering me now??

[Pestilence]

February 21st 2009... 3pm i picked up my old bud Ethan. We were going to a local show of a band my friends were in. We chilled then went got there around 5:15, it started at 6:00 pm. Went in and chilled, i was wearing my teal and black hoody. I was inside walking around and this girl entered. I Didnt know who she was, but her and 2 other girls walked in she was wearing a spetum ring, had black skinnys on and a plaid red shirt. She was beautiful. She had her hair pulled up and was like this lil spikey puff in the back from it being just barley short enough for a pony tail.

Me being the dork i am.. u who know me know exactly what i did.... i went up and poked it... laughed and walked away... yea im imature but thats my dorky way of getting someones attention. Well later about 45 minutes after she walked up to me and was a bit shy.. she asked if i was the one who poked her hair and i admitted to it.. and she laughed and introduced herself. Her name was Tatisha, she was white with a black girls name haha. She was only about 5' 6" but it was all beauty. She went and sat down so i followed nerviously, afraid of rejection... After a few seconds i said something and we started a basic conversation about music and stuff. Well by the end of the show i got her number. Just as we were leaving her friends mom didnt get them. so i took her home. Got outta the car and hugged her then drove off. She texted me later that night and we talked...

Sunday the 22nd i went and got her and we went to town and randomly walked around and stuff. We talked and all that...

Thursday morning i texted her to anxious to wait to see her later... so i asked her out, altho i wanted to do it in person i was to excited. Well she accepted and that night i picked her up and we hung out and went to the movies.

Everything stayed good for us...

The begining of april her friend came back from a city about 50 miles away. Her friend brought drugs and the party life... She took ahold of it too...
Everynight she blew me off to go smoke and drink...
Even a few times she got ahold of heroine and oxy. I wasnt aware until the mood swings hit and her mom told me... I tried to help her but she kept denying it so i figured ill let it go a lil longer and talk to her about it...
The next week i went to talk to her mom about it and her mom told me she had taken her to the hospital the night before... She had gotten a STD from some guy she had sex with about 1 week before i was aware she had done this. She didnt have a explianation but i knew what it was.... she needed drugs and had done this to get some.

She finally admitted to me it that night after i confronted her on the phone since she was at a friends house that day. I agreed i would forgive her if she went to rehab and cleaned up.. she agreed so i told her once she got outta rehab i would take her back... Well that never happened. night after night for 2 weeks it got worse.... I found out on spring break she had stold 700 dollars from her mom to buy stuff. They had video tapes of this at the bank of her withdrawling her moms disability money. Her mom told me about it and said rehab was best so me and Tatisha or Tish, which was the name i called her... talked about it and she said she still would do rehab. so i agreed to still take her back if she did... and her mom said rehab or i press charges on you. in ohio anything above 500 dollars stolen is a 5th degree felony which is 3-12 months jail time. She had taken a little bit over 700. Well for another week... she went and partyed and her mom and me both agreed then... jail was best because she was going to destroy her life if she wasnt stopped...

I told her goodbye and went back to my normal life. Me and her mom talked occasionally, her mom would call me once or twice a week and ask how i was doing because her mom told me i was a good person and wanted to make sure i was ok. July 9th she had been taken to court and had gotten off easily with agreeing to have a paroll officer and times and submit to a drug test randomly instead of jail... well since then shes been arrested 2 more times and has lived this life.

I was fine from may-september... but then recently its been bothering me alot... i get upset thinking about her and just wish i could go back and stop all the bad that happened in her life. I just dont know how to get over this... it shouldnt be bothering me...

[Mercy]

Aww...I'm sorry Corey. I wish I could help you. I'm sorry that you had to go through this. I don't know why it's bothering you. I mean I know you care for her, it's obvious. And she sounded like a really nice girl before she was on drugs, I mean I'm sure she's wonderful when she's off of drugs. Maybe it's bothering you because you wanted to help, but she wouldn't listen to you. I'm sure that hurt. And I mean you are learning that she isn't really recovering at all and that she is just partying. I mean it's kinda like you lost a friend because she has changed so much since the first time you met her. I don't know if I really helped, but I tried.

[Pestilence]

u helps XD

i just dont understand why after like 8 months it started bothering me

[Mercy]

Well maybe it's because you thought she would finally snap out of it, but she's not. And you are worrying about her, she seemed like a nice girl, from what you said. Have you recently heard, saw, or talked to her in the last month?

[Pestilence]

nope havent spoken with her or anything.

[Mercy]

Hmm..that is strange, have you had any triggers. Like did something trigger it?

[XxbrokenlovexX]

Aw I'm sorry!
I hope things get better for you!
I lost my bf to drugs.
He had really bad mood swings,
So one night him and his dad got into a fight and he shot himself.
I can be hard sometimes.
For me nothing specific triggers it.
Sometimes I'll be fine,
Then I'll randomly think about him,
And it'll bother me for a couple of days.
But it always gets better for me...